如果有機會，我想對你說，
我會對你很好，
不會半路逃跑，
也不會放牛吃草。

希望真的會有那麼一天。。。

At GMT +8 2010
I received your text. That you are back to jp frm sg, that you have been in sg for the past 2 weeks.
.
To be honest... I felt devastated...
I wanna ask why.. Why not let us meet...
But those words were never send....

Yes I want to see you,
To talk to you,
To bring you around.

To have the ability and say that I have a stable job with fix hours.

I woke up, feeling a lil lost.
Looked at our photos, your smiles.
Emotions crash upon like waves,
Gradually memories replay.

Never quite the sentimental soul
So why now?
Years have gone by
So should the feelings

I could have done more back then
Even more so now
Chances flew by
when I didn't pay attention

If anyone taught me how to love
It had to be You.

If we were to restart, would you still wanna be with me?
有些事物，忘不了也忘不掉。
曾經許的諾言，也未曾忘記。
他們說，機會走了就沒有了。
你說，希望我以後學會珍惜。

我說，我想珍惜的人只有你。
錯過太多，錯得離譜

聽到你聲音，不能否決那股想抱緊你的念頭。

對不起，我還愛著你。

1st Feb 2012 0111 -0119
Thank Christ heavens.
She called. I don't know what made her do so. 
But the feelings she stirred ? Undeniable. The sense of surprise, relief, cloud nines... 
I don't know if love is still there, ain't my main concern now...

SHE CALLED!

Should get inked.

Training started. Mon-fri, 9-6.
Reminds me very much of my tuition life back in those days.
Trying as much to comprehend and absorb the various concepts.



Injured myself. sigh

Ok. Completed my last day, scored my new job in bank.
And when i thought i could finally rest, i fell sick...
roar...

did some thinking for the past few days,
i let go of certain past.. looking forward to a better future...



found this quote.
"Someone who could not bear losing me to someone else."
Am feeling like Someone right now...
but most of the time... I still lose.




You’ll come across a lot of people in your life.
Ones you think will stay in your life, stay with you forever.
You come across people you will love, very much.

But sometimes...
love isn’t enough to tackle all the obstacles in life
and you will have to deal with the heartbreak
of knowing that that person you love is gone and you’re left, alone.

to try your very hardest to fall out of love.
To do something you never thought you’d have to do.
Just keep your head held high.

Don’t let it get to you, don’t fall apart.
Clear your heart and let it go.
And when it comes around again, let love in.
Because you never know.

It’s all about having faith……





ONLY THE ONES IN BOLD.

Appearance:

I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different colour.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/I’ve had braces.
I wear glasses.
I’d get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free, scar-free.
I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have piercings in places besides my ears.
I have freckles.

Family/Home Life:
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I have children.
I’ve lost a child.

Embarrassment:
I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry. (pokemon included? )
I’ve snorted while laughing.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.

Health:
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I’ve had stitches.
I’ve broken a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had surgery.
I’ve had chicken pox.

Traveling:
I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.
I’ve been to Canada.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Japan.
I’ve Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
I’ve been to Spain.
I’ve been to Africa.
I’ve been to France.

Experiences:
I’ve been lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve been to a casino.
I’ve been skydiving.
I’ve gone skinny dipping.
I’ve played spin the bottle.
I’ve crashed a car.
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a play.
I’ve met someone in person from the internet.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve seen the Northern Lights.
I’ve sat on a roof top at night.
I’ve played chicken.
I’ve played a prank on someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.
I’ve seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I’ve eaten Sushi.
I’ve been snowboarding.

Relationships:
I’m single.
I’m available. (not)
I’m engaged.
I’m married.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve been divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality:
I’ve had a crush on someone of the same gender.
I’ve kissed a member of the same gender.
I’ve had sex with more than one person at the same time.
I am a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve had sex outdoors.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I have had sex with a stranger.

Honesty/Crime:
I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve cheated on a test.
I’ve run a red light.
I’ve been suspended from school.
I’ve witnessed a crime.
I’ve been in a fist fight.
I’ve been arrested.
I’ve shoplifted.

Drugs/Alcohol:
I’ve consumed alcohol.
I’ve smoked a cigarette.
I(‘ve) smoke(d) pot.
I regularly drink. (hmm not really)
I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.
I’ve done hard drugs.
I’ve been addicted to an illegal drug

A career switch?
I aint sure. Lets keep our fingers crossed that they can work out something for someone like me, who is not cut out for bank sector. Lol.

I count my blessings. Yes, I do have tons of screwed up days.
But I believe that ultimately, I still have to seize the day.
To live without regrets. To give my best. Put up the smile and serve.

Thank you to the Big Guy up in the sky,
He did forgive me for the amt of things I screwed up,
So I guess, somehow it influence me to take things easy...

I can be harsh on myself to the point I get so tensed up...
Which ended up me snapping at the smallest issues...

I seek to control many things... to put my mind at ease...
But I learn to let things go at its own pace..
There're way too many things thats not within one's control...

Many of us knows about it, but it aint easy to live by it...
I'm guessin thats why so many of us are unhappy with life...
We try to mould life into the way we want it to be...
But there's only so much we can do..
All the unforeseeable factors, a tweak in it and the results would have been way different.

So kick back and relax.
Do own's part well, be kind and gracious...
Things would work out in its own course and time...

We cant help a plant grow...
It'll grow as time comes...

Its not the end result, but the process of growing that we gain...

Watched Avatar.
In one of the vid log of Jake, he mentioned that the Na'vi world seems to be more realistic than the world he is living... Quote, "Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world, and in here is the dream. "

Now that am back home, and thoughts sinking in... I cant help but to feel how he feels.
In the night, in the dark, in those moments is where I feel alive and real...
I slept a night without dreams. I woke up feeling recharged.
But once am out the door, I felt as if am back into the world of pretending.

Knowing it too well that am never gonna be in that world, yet, neither could I deny the emotions and feelings that's so true...

Am I torn between these 2 world?
Yet, I find a strange balance in it...
As one may seek comfort in the quiet zone,
You seemed to be my comfort zone.

Unspoken chemistry.
Unwritten status.

天空依然的蔚蓝，
但 我已悄悄的飞过。
不留下痕迹。。。

还记得吗？
今天的我们，已经是4周年了。。。

Spent my festive season working.
Managed to do a few catch ups...

Did some soul searching,
I questioned myself, if I have ever truly loved?

Memories took me on a roller coaster ride,
I teared. I smiled. I mocked.

Was all that I felt during then call love?

Girls that did came into my life,
Was the way I treated them call love?

Someone who never fancies chocolate, flowers, cakes...
Yet, learn abt it and even bakes it...

Someone commented, " I like the way you love me."
I smiled but at the same time, it feels kinda sad too...

To be love just the way one is...
Aint easy afterall...

Sometimes, we can only love with what we have...
Whether the feeling is reciprocated, its a total different story.

As am moving on with life, learning to be a full circle before embracing another full circle into my life.

Love, Life and Chocolate.

I dont know what love is anymore. but am glad to know what love is not.

Being single allows me to have a better perspective,
People tends to put alot of do's and dont's when it comes to relationships...
Am pretty tired of seeing it.

也许爱一个人，就是原以为她做任何事，
愿意爱她，宠她，疼她，怜他，
而不是心安理得地只享受对方的付出。

或许这次是我们该学习的，
学习不要去设定自己才是对方最重要的人；
学习不是非要霸占对方大多数的时间，
才是爱情。

爱情就像生活中被子里的一根线。
爱情就在里面，是生活变得坚固而温暖。

Tame me if you can.

Feeling bad isn't going to make the present good or change the past.
You have to look into the future for inspiration.

26th July
Loves coffee.
Part-time lover.
Full-time friend.

Luv letter - Dj Okawari



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